Category: Dating and Relationships
Well, my name is Nathan, and I have had some interesting relationships. First, a blind girl inquired whether or not I would take her to a school dance, so I said no problem. We danced, talked, and had a great conversation and time! Then, she informed me, that we were going to date. After about 3 days, she told me we were never dating?? She has rejected me over and over, stating that I am not her type? What the heck?? Anyway, I tried to date another girl, but found out she was bisexual later, breaking up the relationship. I just want a girl that likes me for who I am. It seems if you ask a girl, are you okay dating a blind person? Most say no or feel uncomfortable. I began talking to these girls at college. One doesn't have a boyfriend, and she is 20, I am 19. She is sighted, has a car, and a wonderful personality. When I tried asking her the question, she said she would date a blind person, but she would have to get to know the person, which was fine to me. But, I just think that she won't date me. I just want a girl, someone who lives near Virginia, blind or sighted.
Thank you, using this post to mainly vent.
I've been in the same boat, especially since I tend to prefer sighted girls. That and the only blind woman I know of who lives in my area and is close enough to my age is definitely not the kind of woman I could see myself with under any circumstances. She's one of those types, and I hate these people with a passion, who seem to believe that their blindness makes them entitled to all sorts of deferencial treatment. But I've dated a shocking number of sighted people who claim endlessly that they have no problem dating a blind person but when it comes to walking the walk they get cold feet for one reason or another. Or, in the case of my last really serious relationship, they get the notion that it's funny to play stupid, childish pranks on you. So I definitely know where you're coming from. Another potential stumbling block is that if, like me, you happen to be unemployed, the man or woman then gets the mistaken impression that you can't do things for yourself and that they'll have to take care of you. At that point one of two things will be likely to happen. They'll either back away from you and make some ridiculous excuse, or go the extreme opposite route and mother you until you suffocate and of course pay not the slightest attention to your own assurtions that you could, with just a little assistance, do that thing for yourself. And yes, my last partner was like that. But then if you date a blind person you might have clashing viewpoints on how things should be done. That's happened to me more times than I care to remember. Hell, my first ever girlfriend fell into that category and, if anything, has grown more naive in the eleven or so years since we were together. Of course this isn't always the case but when you've been through it as often as I or some others have you tend to get just a bit synical about the whole business.
I don't at all think dating is harder cause of blindness. if you carry yourself well, get to know people without asking up front if they'd date a blind person, I think you'd have a more positive outcome. cause, let's be honest, when people ask things like, "will you be my friend", or "would you date a blind person", that puts people off. just let things happen naturally, and the rest will likely fall into place.
Even if you date a blind girl, her parents may be totally against her dating a blind guy, so no, it's not harder to date if you are blind. The real question is, why is it harder for a blind guy to drive a car? answer, it's not, just get out there and have confidence in yourself and you will be able to drive just as well as any sighted driver. Holds up humor sign, lol!
I agree with Happy Heart. Don't worry about asking the question, just be a kind and caring person. If you find someone you can talk to well, let them get to know you, then just come out and ask them if they'd like to go out for dinner (or whatever you like). Some girls (and guys for that matter) are put off by blindness. But I think a lot just get wairy of it because they don't really understand it. Yes, some blind people give us all a terrible name, but then again, so to a lot of sighted people. I've been happily married to a sighted lady for nearly four years now. Granted I do ahve some vision, but the blindness was never really an issue.
Agreed. I don't think dating is necessarily harder because one is blind. Dating is hard for everyone. I am sure sighted people would be the first to tell you about horrific dating experiences, loneliness, rejection, whatever. If you make blindness a BIG issue, then friends/prospective partners will too. Of course if you are dating it is something that you will have to bring up on occasion for a myriad of reasons, but it's no different than a sighted person bringing up their insecurity about the size of their feet or a birthmark; blindness just has more misconceptions and workarounds involved with it.
Take a good long look at your self, you'll probably find that blindness is the least of the reasons people don't want to date you.
Harsh much? That could be true, but then again maybe not. As for dating being harder for blind people, there was a time in my life when I would have believed that, but now I think that most of us are dysfunctional. We come from dysfunctional families, or if we're blessed enough to have a loving and supportive family of origin, we breathe in the stale, toxic air of a dysfunctional society. We potentially go to school with future abusers, rapists or arrogant assholes. We work with people who steal from their companies or try to get some in the office when, I suppose, the monotony of their job just gets to be too much. On the street we see the derelicts, the down and out, the disturbed. And if that's not enough, just when we think we'll get some rest in our own homes, all we have to do is turn on the tv and the media will drive that point home: we live in a dysfunctional world. So, with so much fucked-uppedness surrounding us on a day to day basis, is it any wonder that those who aren't dysfunctional themselves become a little jaded by all that goes on around them?
Now, I'm not speaking for everyone. There are great people, who sadly get overshadowed by the bad. My point is, relationships are hard work, whether you're blind or sighted, tall or short, fat or skinny. Every relationship is a risk. You're opening yourself up, becoming vulnerable to a background you're unfamiliar with, surrendering a part of yourself to someone when you have no guarantee that it will work out. But that's life, you never know what will happen, so you have to hope for the best even if you get your ass handed to you on a silver platter along the way. Being jaded isn't bad if you can balance it; similarly, being naive never helped anybody either. I believe, and I know I still have a long way to go in this area myself, that once you find that balance between good and evil, a successful relationship can happen.
Oh jared how I've missed your posts on the boards. lol
I came here to say something that Roman Battle Mask said way more cleverly than I ever could have. Well done sir.
It has nothing to do with blindness it's the people. Crazy isn't it?
Some people do have issues with blindness though. Some will come right out and say it but then there are the others wo'll make some lame excuse the way employers will when they don't feel like hiring you but can't tell you directly that it's because you're blind.
well, who would wanna work for people with that outlook? certainly not me.
you sounds to me like you want a date simply for the sake of dating. That is not it should work, and, regardless of you are blind, sighted, or whatever, it not gonna work well. Blindness is not the main issue. The main issue is how you see, present yourself. but blindness for you is an issue, then be it. If your dates can't accept who you are, that shows something about them.
A lot of really smart things have already been said here. I personally have heard females say “I wouldn’t date him, he’s blind.” It’s fucked up, but again, look at the world we are in. Some parents didn’t teach their kids respect, as well as other basic things that get you through life.
I’ve been visually impaired all my life, and have never dated a visually impaired girl or woman. Females aren’t perfect, and nor are guys. Visually impaired or sighted, it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. I know girls visually impaired and sighted who talk a big game; say they can take a joke, and then can’t even hang with what they claimed... If that’s the case, how do they take a compliment?
You don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. You need a person who fits you, that way the relationship is worthwhile.
One has to wonder if those girls who say, "I wouldn't date him, he's blind", aren't really saying, "I wouldn't date him, he lives with his mom, doesn't shower regularly, dresses weird, swings his head all the time, stares at the floor, shoves his fist in his eye and pretty much looks helpless and socially awkward".
Now, I'm not saying that all girls think that, or that all blind people are like that, but its a possibility. How do we present ourselves do the dating pool? Are we suave, play to our strengths, casual, calm, funny, whitty, charming, and socially acceptible? Or are we weird, dorky, socially inept, rude, mean, do we lack the skills of a normal person, do we look sighted?
That is one thing I always strive for, I want to trick people into thinking I'm blind. Don't think that's possible, I sat in front of a girl in my science class last year, with my dog, every other day, and it took her weeks to realize I was blind. It took me telling her for her to get it. so it can be done.
Look at yourself first, then look at why others won't date you.
Also, don't ask if they'd date a blind person, it looks desperate, and desperate people are creepy, not attractive; you're going for attractive.
Also, keep in mind, I know this has been said, but your appearance matters. So try not to move your head when someone is talking to you, one, it drives people up the wall when their trying to look into your eyes and your moving your head, second, your voice travels and can make a person who even is not sighted dizzy with all your movement. Not trying to bee a butt head about this, but these mannerisms are not sexy. Second, sense I have dated more sighted then blind, make them laugh, heck giggle if its a fine lady and put them at ease with you and your personality. Last, not least important, "Dammit, when your getting your player's card out and its game on" tact matters. Seriously, if you can not get a person to notice you for you or if it just happen to bee a blindness thing, be ready to answer blindness questions in a way you put him or her at ease. Do not think that person you are attempting to date has seen blind people on a regular bases.
Starfly, Lightning...here here.
Well said, Starfly.
Silver, that is real talk. But I have been independent for years, was taught a lot from my big bro, dad and cousins. The bitches who usually say it are just that, random bitches.
Then why would you want to date them in the first place?
I don't want to date a bitch, I'm just stating what girls who are in places where I happend to be partying at have said...
I'm going to have to agree with the folks who say dating is hard for everyone, blind or sighted, just because people make things complicated. Being blind and dating does have its unique challenges because blind people are a minority and at least the way I see it, most sighted folks just do not expect they will date anyone blind or otherwise markedly different from themselves. They don't do this to be mean on purpose but I think many people just expect to only have meaningful contact with people they see as pretty similar to themselves. Let me throw a few points out here.
It's a good idea, yes, to make sure your appearance and behavior are acceptable, but it is no guarantee that it'll chase away ignorance. No matter how independent you might be, some folks will just see you as the blind person and dismiss you away. These people are fools.
When I was younger, yes, I wanted to date for the sake of dating. I was lonely and felt unlovable. Gotta come to terms with who you are as a person and relax and like who you are. This is a good idea.
Don't be bothered about potential criticism over who you date. No matter what you do, somebody's gonna bitch to you about it and it's probably not really about you anyhow, so dismiss those folks away.
Don't dismiss the idea of dating another blind person if you find any that are interesting. People will tell you you are reinforcing a stereotype or other sorts of happy horse shit like that. Ignore them. You are dating for love and happiness and companionship in life, not because you want to make the proper political statement to the world. The world is not watching.
And last, make lots of friends without the possibility of dating. Relax and see what life has in store, don't push things or rush them. When I met the woman who is now my wife, we started out as friends and thought we were going to date other people until we just, through time and phone calls and e-mails, slowly got to know one another and love just snuk up on us. This has made for a wonderfully close and stable relationship. Hey, we got married, what can ya say!
Well put.
I can't believe anybody would ever go up to a girl and ask her if she'd date a blind person!
How bout this...
Go up to a girl and say:
"Hey, would you consider dating a total bad ass? Perhaps I have no social prowess, and maybe my shirt doesn't match my jeans, but god damn do I ever have amazing cane skills!"
Just my two cents.
You should never ask that. I've never heard anybody do that. If you do that, that's strike one.
Hahahaha Roxtar, that is HILARIOUS! Thanks for the laugh!
Its been a while, and hopefully I never have to go back to the dating seen, seeings how I am married, but focusing all or most of your attention on blindness is not good when trying to date. Seriously, just bee yourself, keep in mind if he or she can not take you for your personality then they are not wurth your time.
Look, it's simple, if someone is going to be ignorant don't date them. After a while, the ignorant ones will find themselves alone.
I've never asked a girl if she'd date a blind guy. I just let her know I'm blind and judge by her reactions whether she'd be worth dating.
Yes, if you ask them if they would date a blind guy it also makes you look like a walking advertisement. "The blind guy is desperate." Lol
If you make yourself the poaster child for blindness, expect negatave attention. Be yourself, show that your blindness doesn't define who you are, as an indevidual.
Show that you have more personality than half the douche bag sighted people. I knew a guy who did the whole "I'm blind, and need help" thing. Don't go and do that.
I don't even bring blindness up until it has to be. Telling someone you're blind right off is almost as bad as asking them if they would date a blind person. if they don't instantly start bringing attention to it, why should you?
Hi,
I tend to tell people I'm blind right off because I feel it's something that people need to know, especially if they live near me and are planning on seeing me at some point in the future. Personally, I don't feel I'm calling atention to it, just being honest about it. in my experience, it's been hard for me to date blind or sighted people. But I don't like dating much anyway. I'd prefer to have a five year relationship with someone over going on ten dates any day. That's just the kind of person I am. I've dated lots of sighted guys and only been with one for an actual relationship. He too had a disability, though it wasn't blindness. A lot of people do have issues with blindness. I've been on some dates where the guys were pretty awkward about it. One guy and I went for a walk on a trail in a park and he insisted on carrying me up a hill because he was afraid I'd fall. I'd tried to reassure him that I could walk just fine several times. That didn't stop him from picking me up and carrying me up the hill. I was incredibly embarrassed. I don't know, people can be weird in general. I'd like to meet a nice person and be with them, blind or sighted. However, being through all the experiences I have and looking at other couples, I can see sometimes why blind people end up with other blind people. It has nothing to do with the people being unatractive and not acting like adult memembers of society in my opinion. Most of the time in my experience, it has to do with sighted people not being able to look past the surface. If they don't like how we look, a lot of the time, that seems to be enough for them to not notice us. I am quite sighted-looking. Plenty pf people willl happily ask me questions about where to find such and such a place, or talk to me, but hardly anyone has ever asked me out on a date or for my number. I've been on Craigslist and even posted an add awhile back, looking for a potential person. I think it also has to do a lot with standards. A lot of people seem, to me, to have incredibly high standards. They want someone who's pretty, someone who can cook, clean, is emotionally stable, has a job, is between ex and ex ages, lives in ex area, likes to party, has completed college, earns a certain amount, is funny, down-to-earth, quiet, romantic, has D cup breasts, is no more than 100 lbs and is five-eight, is sensible and the list goes on. My question is, how the heck does anyone ever expect to find anyone if they have such high standards, blind or sighted? No one person can fill all those areas! What happened to just meeting someone where ever you happen to find them and letting things go from there? I don't care much about some of that stuff personally. I care most about personality of a person and I think that's something a lot of people don't do. I'd like to find someone nice who can love me for who I am. I don't care if they're blind or sighted, where they live, or if they earn $2000000 a year. I don't know, i just think it's king of sad.
Take Care,
Dawnielle
Hi all
I don't really know if what i say here will make any difference to anyone, but i'll say it anyway!
I want to start by telling a story of a time i went on a few dates with a sighted person. I found him online, and didn't tell him till shortly before we were due to meet up, that i couldn't see. He didn't care, and we met for coffee, then went to the cinema where i think hhe described more of the film than he saw, it was so sweet! That particular relationship didn't work out, but not because either of us were blind or sighted. I am with my partner now for nearly 4 years, he is also blind, but my thinking on this is why does it matter? I'm with him as he is with me, for personality and the fact we love each other for who we are, not what one person can do or not, or what the other person earns or doesn't. It's purely each other;s persoonalities and carichter's that we like, and i really don't understand why people place so much importance on being blind or not, i mean sighted peple go out with other sighted peple all the time, and noone passes any comment! why should it be any different for us! My partner and I knew each other when we were kids and then we found each other again later in life, not very typical but just the way it happened for us. my advice to you would be to let someone get to know you for you, that way your blindness won't matter. Like other's have said, doing this won't chase away all ignorance, but in my opinion, this is better than asking someone would they date a blind person. I'm not saying i don't understand why you did it, but i guess in situations like that, one has to imagine that they were on the other side of the coin and think, "how would i feel if i was asked the same question?"
I hope this has helped even a little, and sorry if not.
Pisces
yeah. I, for one, know I would be a little put off if some sighted guy and I were talking and he asked me if I would date sighted people. that's not to say it would be a deal breaker, but there are other important things that need attention. How do you handle long distance? Do you value communication, ETC. of course, the subject shouldn't be avoided at all costs, either, but eventually it will come up in a more natural way. If you want to ask questions, take the opportunity then.
Usually other people are the first ones to bring up my blindness. I actually walk around like anyone else in the world.
yeah. personally, I just think it will all go better in the end if they're the one to bring it up. I can't say this for everyone, of course, but if you show them as a first impression that your blindness isn't the first thing on your mind, or one of them, then they'll probably know it doesn't necessarily need to be the first thing on their's.
One problem I have with the nfb is that they want us to wave our blindness around like a flag.
Really? I thought they were trying to discourage that.
No way. You have to be super blind person in every area of your life. Besides, how exactly can you not help flaunting your blindness when you walk around with that death trap of a cane? If someone didn't realize you were blind, they certainly will after they get tripped with that piece of crap because the damn thing is too long and unwieldy.
What I mean is, they want you to say "hey I'm blind" and all that shit.
That's honestly as far from true NFB philosophy as you can get. At lcb, we were encouraged to look at our blindness as just one feature we happen to have in common. It’s just one of the many traits that make us who we are. We were discouraged from "waving it around like a flag" because the aim isn't to be helpless, or take advantage of a system. Most that truly understand nfb philosophy will tell you that practices like that are frowned upon simply because one can't truly be viewed as an equal in society if they're clinging to exceptions for everything. Sure, we will need to advocate and legislate, and while at first glance, it may look semi against nfb mentality, legislation is used to find new ways to make blindness less of a nuisance, not to cry "poor me, I’m blind."
Most people just haven't been exposed to the more truthful philosophy, or they've bought in to the urban fairy tales, because they're more exciting than the truth of the matter. Quite a few of the false stories are spread by ante NFB groups/people in attempt to make their offering look more palatable. More harm is done still when state training centers and the like take and reshape the NFB mentality to suit their own needs, because miseducation is the only thing that results.
Like any organization, the nfb has people that don’t speak for it correctly, or don’t show the best side of what the group as a whole has to offer. It’s just fact of life. Though ninety percent of the stories you’ve heard are just that, or they’re misconceptions. Though opinions will always differ, and that’s ok.
Personally, I see more good in using the “nfb cane” because for my method of travel, nothing comes close to delivering as smooth of a response to my environment. Nothing else provides the right amount of reaction time, and suits my needs. That being the case, I’m glad we have options, in all things. Nothing would be worse than only one mentality, one cane… At the end of the day, we should all be glad that we have as much as we do.
That being the case, I think this NFB chat derailed the topic the OP actually wanted to speak about…
Just one thing, and then I'll shut up about the NFB stuff on this topic. I don't think we were saying that NFB philosophy is to cry poor me, I'm blind. I think we were saying it's more of a pride thing. When we wpeak of waving it around like a flag, we were talking about the super blind people that the NFB seems to favor, the ones that are scientists and doctors and other high-ranking positions. Never in my life have I been spoken to by someone from the NFB who held an average job. That's not to say they don't exist, I'm just relating my experience.
I'm actually on a few of the NFB mailing lists. I'm also on some of the ACB ones. There's a certain person on the NFB lists who talks about everything the NFB does as if it's the greatest thing ever. There was a thread where he was saying how he would walk around and tell every blind person he would meet about the NFB, and ask them to join, and if they didnt want to, go into a whole conversion process. If that's not waving it around like a flag, I don't know what is.
I agree with these views. I'm in the same boat. When I was single, I went on dating sights, but all my contact requests were rejected because I was blind. I was really expansive in my profile, telling people not to let it put them off and to give me a chance. It doesn't happen. I'll be honest, my current relationship which I hoped was my last is really rocky and I'm afraid of it breaking up as I'd have to go through the whole process of rejection again. Yes, my partner is blind. I certainly would date a sighted guy if I got the chance.
to further what James said: that's just it. anywhere in life, you'll encounter radical groups of people and others who are low-key. so, to say the NFB is full of nothing but radical attitudes is totally untrue.
I don't agree with everything they do by any means, but their philosophy grabbed my attention from the start. even so, you'd probably never know I support them cause it isn't in my profile, and I don't advertise my views unless a specific discussion comes up. and, I present them as if they're mine (which they are). they may incorporate certain things from various organizations, but that's the extent of it.
I suppose I shouldn't say much about this. I've either dated people who were blind to some degree, or people who just never cared that I was blind. I don't think there's one key solution to dating someone when you're blind. All you can really do is be yourself and not focus on the fact you're blind. If being yourself isn't working, figure out what part isn't working and see how you can change it. Are you afraid of soap? Do you not understand daily living skills? DO you dress like a slob? Such things are common among some blind people and need to be dealt with. Blindness doesn't have to be a stumbling block, but it certainly is a handicap. People consider that a dirty word, but in reality it's a limitation put upon us for one reason or another. But do we let that limitation define us? Do we let it be our primary characteristic? Or is it simply another facet of who we are. We need to expand the world view, to broaden people's perspective on what it means to be blind without making ourselves seem helpless. In short, we need to find the right level of confidence. There's nothing more annoying than a helpless blind person who can't figure out how to pee or wash their own hair. But those super "I'm blind,, I know it,, but look at me I'm awesome" people are pretty frustrating too.
Oh I know for a fact they aren't all radicles. I avoid those radicles as much as I can however. Now back to the topic:
I am starting to form the opinion that most sighted people don't want to date blind folks.
To post 45, I know what you mean. I actually joined one of those dating websites in December of last year.. i joined because it was easy, all you had to do was sync your facebook profile with the site. Well, a guy did contact me and I thought it was going really well at first. We would chat online almost everyday about anything and everything for hours at a time. He knew about my blindness because it's mentioned in my profile, and he didn't seem to have a problem with it, he asked questions out of curiosity because he had never met a blind person before, but my blindness didn't seem to be an issue. And then, I don't know what happened.. After about 3 or 4 weeks or so, I began hearing from him less and less. He became more and more distant. I don't know if he got scared or what, but now I don't hear from him at all. And last week I texted him to see how he was doing, and he said he was alright but that he was busy and couldn't talk then. So, I admit I'm kind of disappointed, I was actually starting to feel really hopeful that it would lead somewhere, but I guess that's not going to happen. Guess i'm a fool.. I shouldn't have let my emotions get involved so soon. Anyway, another guy from the site recently contacted me, but I don't know.. i just don't want to get my hopes up again and be disappointed..
I can agree with Margorp to a point. You can find some who will get it, but my impression is that most people just don't even expect to associate with anyone in any way who is outside their life experience or comfort zone. It's not just blind folks who are treated as if they're invisible. I can't even name which groups of people that'd fall into this category. I'm not necessarily saying it's not worth a go if you feel you fit in with the mainstream of things, but I know I don't for various reasons, not just the blindness thing. In my experience as a single person in the past, I know that the women that seemed interested in me were either blind or had some kind of disability. Sighted women made good acquaintances and friends, but none seemed interested in going anywhere past that. No idea if that was a failing on my part or theirs. However, if I were to speculate and imagine myself single again, I'd be more likely to date blind or disabled women, because I know it'd be more likely I'd be wanted there.
Yes, and that is the reason so many people stick with what they feel safe with. Birds of a feather flock together.
Christ! What a depressing conversation.
I've never dated a blind girl. Interesting, I guess, now that I think about it.
I wouldn't have had a problem dating a blind girl if one had come along, but I never really clicked with any blind women -- not to say i've known very many of them. If I've ever had trouble with dating, it's been because I'm pretty quiet most of the time. I've never had any trouble hooking up with sighted women, for both short and longterm relationships. If you cary yourself like a quote blind person quote, that's how you'll be treated. You gotta get out there and act like a person. Just that, a person.
Let's be real here. People with bad legs, or fat asses, or big boobs, or blonde hair, or blue eyes don't act like they're in a special category.
Any category or group you might fit in doesn't mean that you should act as a member of that community to the exclusion of everything else.
When I go out in public, I don't expect a blonde to come up to me and say "hey, I'm a blonde." Being blind is nothing more or less than a physical trait. It doesn't reflect on your character, or your ability to show yourself to be an attractive and approachable person. It might make for a little bit of awkwardness from time to time, but it's just something you have to deal with and move on.
Not every sighted person is out to turn you down, or fuck with you, or laugh at you, either.
There are a lot of people out there who don't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut if you're blind or not. Trust me, I know.
P.S.
Even the topic title here is indicative of the shitty victimhood mindset that is prevelant among so many blind people.
Maybe the topic should be, how to become better at attracting a partner.
If you look at everything through a framework that tells you you're going to fail before you even try, you might as well just give up.
I spelled prevalent wrong! FUCK!
As a guy it seems that chicks have an instinctive need for security emotional physcal and financial and if cant fulfill these needs then the spell is broken
Rockstar, I definitely agree with you, for the most part. Some sighted people do seem to be put off by dating blind people, although given how some of us act around them, and our aditudes toward them, it's hard to blame them, really. The few relationships I have had with sighted people never worked out, but I honestly don't think it was because of their sight, or my lack there of. Our personalities just didn't mesh well enough for it to have worked, but that could be said for any relationship that didn't work out.
To Akula if you can't provide physical security make sure you can provide emotional and finantial security.
The physical part is what I am good at
Oh, so now your a blanket... or a security guard?
anyway... moving on (though I'm quite late to this topic). I believe part of the reason why so many blindies i.e teenagers flock together is due to the immense level of sheltering.
Let's face it, as a 16 year old I still struggle occasionally with the over protective muther and father, nevertheless I'm glad to have the oppurtunity to mainstream in public school, as well as having a somewhat stable lifestyle.
I suppose my point is, alot of younger blinks in particular find it hard to mingle with anyone when they grew up with strictly those without sight. I'm sure plenty of you off the top of my head, were forced to run off to blink camp during the summer just for the hell of it.
I myself have never dated a sighty, but based on prior experience 1st poster, your better off not pittying yourself. Get up and find someone new, because anyone that rejects you is the one truely missing out. Regardless of a disability, it took me a long time to discover that this applies to life in general.
Just food for thought, you know.
Hey, I grew up around sighted people first and didn't meet another blind person until I first went to a blind camp. I guess I was about 7 or 8. Anyway, I have seen that most sighted women don't seem interested in a blind guy.
maybe they just aren't interested in you.
Women have a secret radar built into their minds. It detects guys who sit around on internet message boards and complain about their inability to get women, and completely shuts off the blood flow to the... Well, you know what i mean.
Here's what you need to do.
step 1: Next time you go out in public, just walk up to a woman, any woman, and say hi, how's it going?
Step 2: In 99 percent of cases the woman will say, fine. How about you?
Step 3: Now when you go home, instead of sitting around and feeling sorry for your blind self, you can think about how you actually talked to a girl.
Once you've done this a couple hundred times, the oposite sex won't seem like this unimaginable unobtainable goal.
You might even get to have an entire conversation with a real live girl one day.
It's only a matter of time till you're totally unstopable.
Go out there and kick some ass tiger.
LOL Roxtar... I laughed out loud
And when the woman in question does not respond, you've been introducing yourself to the furniture again. You were supposed to use your amazing Daredevil Stevie Wonderpowers to be able to scan the room and find the single available women. What an incompetent blink! LOL!
And sadly, some of them will respond just to be polite. and if you do manage to get their number, suddenly, they fall off the face of the earth. But the most important factor is that you tried. Eventually, you'll find someone who's willing to look passed the first impressions, and at least attempt to get to know you for who you really are.
Agree with the last poster.
Okay rockstar, I'm not a damn fool. I know how to talk to a woman and I can tell you that many blind women pass on blind guys.
Well, if you were a blind girl, would you want to date a blind guy?
What a woman really wants in a man is competence. Most blind guys can't do anything for themselves, so yeah, you might have a point about most blind girls not wanting to date blind guys.
Can most blind guys go to the store and get stuff if their significant others are down with the flu, or otherwise not able to get around for a little while? Is the relationship one sided, as in, does your significant other (i'm talking guy or girl here) have to drive you around and do everything for you all the time?
Can you cook? Clean? Can you share the cooking, dish washing, laundry doing, etc?
Most guys, especially young guys, are sub par at this anyway, and especially blind guys. When I was in high school, I went to a college prep summer camp thing for blind kids. I hate to say it, but to be real honest about it, the blind guys I met there couldn't do shit for themselves.
When I went to guide dog school, I met 1 totally blind guy, aside from myself, who really had his shit together, and he was really old.
I've noticed that blind women tend to do better with these kinds of self-sufficiency things, but that's not a hard and fast rule.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is this: Blind women don't want to date blind guys for the same reasons sighted women don't want to date sighted men.
Women have a preternatural ability to discern dumb fucks from not so dumb fucks.
If you can't get a girl, you might consider getting your shit together first.
And, I know some of you are saying, well roxtar, I have my shit together.
Ok then, you don't live with your mom, and you haven't been wearing the same old nirvana t-shirt with the huge coffee stain on the front for two weeks. That's good and all, but having your shit together is more than knowing basic life skills and having some vague idea what a washing machine does.
If you wanna go out and compete with your sighted contemporaries in the dating world, you need to forget all the stupid shit people have told you about being blind.
Simply put, you are not a blind person, you are just a person. Every time i hear people bitching about how chicks don't dig blind people, i think they're retarded.
You could say, well why would you wanna date a chick that is too shallow to take the time to get to know a blind person? I don't aggree with that argument.
Sometimes you just want a one night stand, and shallowness is a plus in that case. Instead of bitching about being blind, something you can't help, sit back and think about why the girl might not have wanted to talk to you. Think about the people she was talking too when you met her, and put your thinking cap on. What sets you apart from them? Was she with a really outgoing guy who had a great sense of humor? Did she seem to appreciate some trait he had that you didn't?
You can think about this shit and come up with reasonable answers that don't all end in "I'm blind, poor me."
Sometimes taking shit personally can be a good thing, in so far as, when you take it personally, you can look at yourself as an individual, instead of thinking that blindness is to blame. Frankly, that mentality is just lazy. You can't blame your own shitty social skills on being blind. They're your fault, so, instead of beating yourself up over it, do something. Take all that energy you spend bitching about your own ineptitude and go get a haircut or something.
You know how many pretty girls hang out at the hair place? You know how many of said girls would just love to give some fashion advice to a blind guy in need of same?
You'd be the only straight guy, blind or sighted, who had come in there asking for hair style advice all week. If you can get a girl talking about what she loves, in this case hair styles, you're golden.
lol roxtar you made some good points there.
Roxtar, that is probably the best advice you can give.
However saying most blind guys can't do this and that is grosely ignorant. I believe many blind people cannot do much for themselves. The steriotype, however, is that the majority are helpless.
I'm just calling it how I see it.
Most blind guys that I've met are pretty helpless.
That's a very general way to put it, but I can't disagree.
No, the reason why the blind guy is passed over is because no matter how competent he might be, he still can't drive a car. The maturity and the motivations of such people who brush him off must be called to question. Then there's everybody else who we can hope are not so fucking picky! LOL!
i 1000% agree with post 67.
liking it or not, if you are a sighted person, and was dated a blind person before in the pass, and have a bad experience, you are more likely not to date that person. and it goes the same for blind person, if you havd a sighted partner that is dominating, possessive, control freak, you are more likely to think all sighted people are like that.
i've witness so many successful relationship that either of the party is sighted and either the husband or wife is blind. it is truely, come to the attitude you have towards the sighted people, and towards others. like i said earlier on this post, what is your reason of dating the sighted? to have someone driving you around town, someone cook for you, someone do your laundry? or to love someone regardless of who they are. if your reason for dating is cause you truely liking the person, and love that person, regardless if they sighted or blind, physically able or disable, you still gonna love them. but if your idea of dating because of the sake of dating, you aint go anyware with it. even a blind girl, is likely to walk away from you than to date you, if whatever you have to offer is just, "i'm blind date me" kind of conversation.
the world does not work around you just because you are blind, the world works on the rest of you, but your blindness.
Exactly. Whether or not the person in question usually makes blindness a big deal, they will eventually have to put some sort of emphasis on it if you do. And if they do already, you're just asking for a disaster.
To the people that say sighted women don't like blind guys because they can't drive, all sarcasm and joking aside, have you considered the possibility that they're just looking for the very thing you're accusing them of thinking; that they're just looking for someone to take care of them? If this is the case, why would you want to be with someone like that anyway? there do exist sighted people; both men and women, that really won't make a big deal out of it, as long as they don't think you are. and some of the people who do are willing to learn otherwise, as long as you're willing to educate them; not by teaching, but by doing. Remember, actions speak louder than words.
Some people are simply put off by lack of sight.
in all my social lyears with sighted people, no one, put off by the fact that i can't drive. in fact, i only need to snap my finger ones, there're drivers cueing in front of my house, too happy to drive me anyware and everyware.
stop giving excuses, time to grow up, and have a self analise as to why sighted people run away from you.
well said to the last poster; there's really no need to take things so personally. in fact, I'd venture to guess that's most of the problem.
if some people wouldn't wanna date you cause you're blind, wouldn't you think they aren't worth your time anyway? I sure as hell would, cause I'm sure they'd be critical of other things as well.
Yes, good point.
It isn't much easier for the sighted... I've been on lots of One Date Wonders... after one date I give my head a shake and wonder w t f was I thinking?
Good luck to you.
Dating isn't difficult when you're blind, it's a person's insecurities that make it so. Blindness is not always the excuse.
right on.
Sometimes, a person's unwillingness to date you or take interest in you is not your fault or not anything you can control either. When I was young and naive and single and trying to get sighted women to take an interest in me, I made some friends but nobody seemed romantically interested in me. But at that time I didn't really blame it on my blindness. I just thought maybe I was just not all that interesting of a person, lacked charisma or whatever. At that point I did not realize I was an introvert or a nerd, although a few people did call me nerd at that point. OK,, whatever. Makes me wonder if the internet existed back then and I met some of these people purely in writing and they did not see my face or meet me in person, would they have thought differently? I say this because, if we take ourselves to the year 2001 when I met my wife on an e-mail list, she says the first thing about me she fell in love with was my intelligence, which at that point I conveyed through my responses to e-mails on-list and then later personal ones and then we started talking on the phone.
Yes, a big part is how you carry yourself. However, many sighted people aren't interested in the blind in that way.
Do you think sighted people would ignore a blind person if they were quite attractive? When I was single, sometimes it seemed people cared more about looks, money, power and status than anything else, and perhaps there was an assumption the blind did not or could not posess power and status and maybe money unless it was obvious. Am I thinking too much yet? LOL!
I don't tell anyone I'm blind when I'm going to start a relationship. That, right there, makes people think that your blindness is worse than it actually is, and thus doesn't make the relationship work so well. So don't make blindness an issue, just show them your personality and that you are fit for dating that person, just like any sighted person would. Dating doesn't have to be difficult if you do the right thing.
Agreed. However many people run when they learn you are blind.
so, the question then becomes, do you let it stop you, or do you figure out ways to successfully work around it?
Hahaha, tell me about it. It's doubly hard when you're blind & gay. :P
Just go with it. Take it in strides. YOLO ... (just kidding, I hate when people say that.) But it's true. Just take what you've got & run with it. If you act timid & insecure, that's how people will see you & remember you. If you act confident (even if you aren't,) that will be your impression on people. And confidence is much more attractive, even admirable. :)
If that person or "sighted person" runs away, are they wurth your time? I think not, its obvious there not wurth waisting your energy to atract them to you if they can not get past your blind. Just my two sence. Believe you me, I have dated mainly sighted people more then blind people in my past.
agree with the last poster; if someone runs away, whether they're sighted, blind or otherwise, that means they're just not interested. So, it's best to move on and let that person go because you can't make someone want you if they don't.
Hello,
I haven't really paid attention to these posts, because I have been extremely busy with college. When I posted this, it was to vent; i was stressed about dating I guess. For some, you have answered the topic in a most polite manner, while others honestly were just "assholes" about it. In particular, rockstar comes to mind. Why would you point people out? Why would you say that"maybe you just don't know how to talk to a woman?" Talking to a woman isn't that difficult; many pass up blind guys because they cannot drive. This was mentioned in another post, which is true.
On the other hand, I agree with Softy. I would rather bring up my blindness first, so that the tention could be released. "Let it flow naturally" Well, that just doesn't work for me for some reason. If I find someone, it will be great. If I don't, I will have the following benefits:
1. I can spend my time doing whatever I want. I don't have to have any commitments, except for my dog guide and I.
2. I can afford more, and keep more of the money I make. Women drain finances.
3. It may be a little lonely, but hey, I can get used to it.
Honestly, I haven't had a girlfriend throughout middle school or high school. Why? I don't have bad hygine. My teeth could be better; they aren't rotting or anything just discolored. That is really about it. I shower every day, apply deodorant, and so forth. I just think, that in general, that sighted people see blind people as "helpless." However, they fail to see their personality. Softey mentions this, and it is true.
The bottom line, and then I'll end this post. I really believe that blindness has something to do with dating. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and this is mine. So, if you want to continue the conversation, you can. Note: I won't be continuing this conversation, I've read all I care to read on the matter.
Nathan
to the last poster, I'll happily agree to disagree with you on most points. However, your comment about women draining finances is extremely narrow-minded. is it a lie? Not entirely, but it is very narrow-minded. I've known plenty of men to mooch off their parents, friends; whomever they can get money from, because they've blown all their income on beer, cigarettes, food, ETC. So before you go accusing women of draining finances, maybe you should have a look at the habits of some of the members of your fellow gender. Believe it or not, I'm not a feminist. I've ripped plenty of women a new assehole for stating "All men are asseholes!", and other such statements. men alone are not asseholes. women alone do not drain finances. some people are asseholes; some people drain finances, some people look for love in all the wrong places, ETC. I could go on all morning about the issues that some people have, but I believe my point has been made.
nbullock, I agree with you about mentioning your blindness first. "letting it flow naturally" doesn't work for me either, and I believe it makes the other person feel more comfortable with the idea if they know about it first rather than finding out about it later. People generally don't like or know how to deal with those kind of surprises, and it's not fair to keep that kind of information from that person if you intend to start a relationship with them. So being honest about it rather than hiding the fact you have a disability is better and more respectful, in my opinion.
However I agree with OceanDream about your comment that women drain finances. I'm actually more responsible with my finances than a lot of people my age. And, I've met guys who are almost twice my age who can't afford to pay their bills, don't have food, don't have furniture, etc.
So its not really fair to say that either gender drains finances more than the other; it just depends on the individual.
You are probably right about the finances thing.
Well, it doesn't matter to me. I told you in the last post what my opinion is.
Nathan
I am not going to get in a full-blown drama debate about it.
I don't think that it's that you should hide your disability, but don't make it a big issue either. I think that asking the question, "Are you cool with dating a blind person?" almost seems like you're making it a big issue, and I think that girls will be turned off about that. I would just go about it the natural way. I think you should really bring up the blindness before you even start dating, and then as you guys get into a relationship, she will see that in reality, the blindness doesn't matter much, and that you can do things on your own. Just my two cents there.
Don't wear your blindness on your sleeve. That will really turn people off.
Agreed. that doesn't mean avoid it at all costs. it just means don't bring it up first thing. Just let it come up as it will. Eventually, it will. I find it ironic that some people who claim to have difficulty finding a mate also won't consider the idea that there might be a better way to go about things. it's one thing if your ways are working for you, but if you're complaining that you're having trouble dating, obviously something is missing. and sorry, but you can't claim it's entirely because of blindness, because some blind people have no problem at all in the dating scene.
Well, like I said, I am entitled to my opinion.
Well, if you meet someone in person, if they see you with a cane in your hand or a dog by your side, of course they're going to realize you're blind, so if they walk away at that point it's definitely not your fault. I do agree with what others have said here about making a big deal about it though. It's a turn off, and it shows your insecurity. Believe me, I'm not the most confident or secure person either, but you have to at least act like you're good enough for the person you're interested in. No one wants to date you if you seem insecure or needy right off the back.
Now, if we're discussing online dating here, and the person doesn't know you're blind, that's a little more complicated, and I'm really not the person to ask about that. I usually don't even talk to people online even as friends because I'm not very comfortable with it. Online, you're nothing but a bunch of characters and emoticons floating through cyberspace. How do those symbols translate into you, your essence? Text, especially read by a screen reader, is not easy for me to relate to. It's a question I've been pondering for awhile now since I've met someone I consider a friend who I happen to not know in real life. Do you get sucked in, possibly falling for something fake, following your heart, or do you remain neutral because all you're seeing is text? I don't know, I haven't decided yet. And that's way off topic, but I had to say it. As far as revealing your blindness in an online situation goes, I have mixed feelings about it. I think it's a little bit like the job acquisition process. Not in a profile, for sure, because that would be like putting it on your job application. But don't show up on a date with a cane in your hand, either. Then the person might get pissed off for what they perceive as dishonesty.
As for revealing your blindness in an online profile, I don't think it does any harm. I'm a member of an online dating site and I do mention it in my profile, and it hasn't stopped people from contacting me. I do include some nice pictures in my profile so maybe that helps. No, I haven't met the right person yet or started a relationship with anyone, but that can take time for anyone anyway.
I don't talk about it in detail but I at least mention it so people know about it in advance. Personally, I would rather someone I'm talking to know that I'm blind before hand rather than having to tell them several weeks or months later, "Oh, by the way, I'm blind. Hope that isn't a problem for you?" To me, that's just dishonest. And if the situation was reversed, I would feel mislead if the person didn't bother to mention their disability to me.
Now of course different strategies work for different people, but I believe honesty is the best policy. And I think a relationship based on lies will not work in the long run.
as has been said, people will learn you're blind eventually, so I don't understand how it can be seen as dishonesty cause you don't flat out say, "hey, I'm blind." that makes it seem like that's a defining characteristic of yours, in my opinion. that certainly isn't how I enjoy being perceived; obviously, others feel differently.
to me, if someone feels I'm being dishonest by taking that avenue, no matter who they are, I wouldn't consider them worth my time anyway.
And, as has been said, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And, as has also been said, there is no one strategy that works for everyone. Different strategies work for different people regarding dating or anything else for that matter, whether folks have a problem with it or not. That's just the way it is.
hey, if it's working for you, more power to you. Keep doing what works. But if it isn't, it's almost laughable that people say they're entitled to their opinion, and they're going to stick to that avenue, then complain they can't find anyone.
or, just not admit it isn't working cause they're afraid of change and don't wanna be wrong.
I also think it depends on how you present yourself. For example if you say in your online profile, "I'm blind, my life sucks, I'm looking for someone to take care of me," then of course few if any people will want to talk to you. But if you say, "I'm blind, but I'm a happy, intelligent outgoing person who enjoys life, and who doesn't let my disability stop me from achieving my goals," then people are much more likely to see you as a nice person with a great personality who they'll want to talk to who just happens to have a disability, rather than just a helpless individual who just wants someone to take care of them.
That's why I say revealing your blindness isn't an issue as long as you do it in a positive manner and don't make a big deal out of it. As I've said a lot of people have chatted with me on the site and I've gotten few blindness related questions. I'm not complaining about the fact that I haven't found anyone yet because finding someone your compatible with takes time and I'm not the type of person who's just going to hook up with the first person I meet. Plus I have other priorities I need to deal with so i don't have a lot of time right now to spend on finding a partner. It will happen when it happens. I just stay positive and hope for the best in life. but, this is just one lady's opinion...
I fully agree with kind and creative lady. Usually, when I mention my blindness, I just say, hey I'm blind. Honestly, I try to not make a big deal out of it, and I am not negative in the slightest degree. Sometimes, I ponder the thought that maybe it does not have to do with so much as blindness being an issue, but the sighted person not ready to enter a relationship.
Nathan
If that's the case they ought to say that. As for me, I would always mention that I was blind but that i try to live life to the best of my abilities.
Telling never works quite as well as showing does. Just sayin. I'm not at all saying you can't show them that, but whether you tell them or not, most people carry some misconceptions. if you tell them, though, they'll be reminded of these before you get the chance to prove them wrong. if not, well, you may have proven them wrong before they really get the chance to assume otherwise. You're right, it's not fair to judge, and yes, some people refuse to even be shown otherwise, no matter how capable you really are. to hell with those people. But they're not nearly as common as some seem to think, and many people will mistake the questions for the assumptions.
I've actually tried not telling them before the meeting. But then when they showed up and realized I was blind they left. Or if we got to phone conversations and I waited till then to tell them I was blind I never heard from them again. I figure they're going to find out sooner or later so no reason to wait.
See, they left. So it is not always us but them. It's a shame that people are so ignorant and shallow. I wouldn't ever run away because someone wasn't like me. *gag*
bitch... bitch... bitch...
it never ends around here.
exactly. guess some people would rather have everyone communicate with them (whether they treat them well or not) rather than see that some just aren't worth their time because they don't/can't accept them. *shrugs*.
Agreed. If they left as soon as they found out you were blind, who's problem is that? Certainly not yours. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be with a narrow-minded prick like that anyway. You're catering to this behavior by telling people before hand that you're blind. If telling people up front works for you, fine. If waiting and letting them find out for themselves works, fine. But don't do either because you think people will react badly if you don't. Rejection is never fun, but I'd rather get rejected because people didn't like my personality than because I wrongly assumed they wouldn't want to date a blind person. to be honest, your assuming that they will judge you more harshly if they find out upon meeting you that you're blind is almost as bad as them assuming you can't do jack shit because of your blindness.
personally, I wouldn't tell someone about my blindness because I think that they'll act badly, I would tell them because I believe honesty is always best. Without honesty, trust and respect you can't have a successful relationship in my opinion. How is someone supposed to trust or respect you if you keep that kind of information from them? Its not fair to them and some people just don't want to get involved with someone with a disability. Whether it's right or wrong, they have a right to their opinion. That's why I just state it up front and, honestly what's the point of hiding it or being ashamed of it? Until there is some kind of miracle cure for blindness or all disabilities for that matter, we have to live with it. It's a part of who we are whether we like it or not. That's just my opinion though; I'm not criticizing others. Unlike some on here I can accept the fact that different strategies work for different people.
it's not being dishonest not to tell them. And if they were to ask you a question that would best be answered with, "Yes, I'm blind", or something of the like, then of course anyone should answer honestly. But as long as you're not straight up telling them you are not blind, then how is that dishonesty?
I agree about honesty being best. I'd still message someone first and see ow they reacted. Some of them didn't bother to read my profile so then they'd ask a bunch of questions but enough of them did and would comment on what they read. I'd decide on any future associations based on the sorts of coments they'd make and the way in wich they were phrased. Call me shallow if you want but f someone messaged me and used too muc text shorthand I would pass them by simpl because their message was unintelligible.
knowing each other before telling them that you are blind. Let them know you as an interesting person, instead of a disable person. An interesting person will talk about different things like sport, music, politic, general knowledge, current afare etc etc. A disable person on another hand, will talk about themselves, their disability, themselves, their disability, how disadvantage and unfair the world towards them, and their disability.
honestly, i'm someone with disability, if a man come up to me and start the conversatin by "hi, i'm such and such, i'm blind, and the world owes me cause i'm blind, can you be my girlfriend" i'll run fast and quick.
in another hand, if i know someone who's blind thru our conversation, but at the same time i know he love reading, walking, swimming, traveling, cooking, etc etc, i'm more likely to wanting to be friend with that person.
That saying, it not only apply to blind people. it apply to anyone. even if a sighted person come up to me and say "i'm such and such, i have a house, a dog, a cat, and a job, can you be my girlfriend" i'll also run fast and quick.
i want someone that i can convers with, not someone that is self centered.
"It takes two to tanggo". communicating needing to happen both ways, not only about you, and your disability, but also about others, and their life too, and general stuff, that may have nothing to do with your disability, or your life, or their life in general.
Good luck
From a guy's perspective, I've noticed that women go for the ones who are most confident. Girls pick up on things like confidence, inteligence, and humor. If blindness defines who you are, you're positive atributes will go unnoticed as well. I'm a creature of habbit. I go to the same club every weekend, so I'm not atracting attention by looking for the restroom for 20 minutes. The biggest chalenge I've had with dating is dealing with stereotypes and other misconceptions. When I meet girls online, ofcourse I'm not going to tell them I'm blind because blindness is regarded as a negative atribute. When meeting people, you sell yourself as best you can. I've never read a profile on a dating sight that depicted a women with negative traits, thats just how it works. After I've been talking to a girl for a week or two, I'll mention that I'm blind and hope that my personality overshadows the fact that I can't see.
blindness doesn't make dating difficult, people make it difficult
Exactly. Thank you.
Personally, I don't tell people I'm blind right off the bat. They see the cane and no I am blind and run for the hills.
And again, I say: that much is not your fault. Why should you waste your time with people like that anyway? It might take you longer to find a mate, but at least you won't be settling.
some people are shalow, and will decide they don't want to be with someone who can't see. That's the beauty of sites like plenty of fish, you can talk to girls and they will see your personality shine instead of a flaw that would preclude any sort of relationship.
There's really nothing wrong with telling people you're blind, as others have said, as long as you don't make it a big deal. Let your personality and your sense of humor shine through.
There's only one problem with that site. It's no longer possible for a blind person to join. Even WebVisum can't solve the Captcha in the very first step of the sign-up process. I tried for quite a long time.
My personality is fine thank you. I don't make my blindness a big deal either. All I do is bring it up once. That's all.
Same here. I've generally had better luck if I tell a woman outright rather than we talk for a while and then they show up and discover later. I had a woman who showed up at my apartmentonce and I was waiting outside for her because a lot of folks had troublefinding my apartment. Well she was ont he phone with me so she could get directions and I know shhe saw me because she asked if I was a redhead wich I am. She said she'd be there in just a few and needless to say she didn't sow. I've ad other, similar instances with people like that who obviously weren't worth my time. Generally I found it worked out better if I told them right fromt he first than if I waited a wile, but yyes I ust brought it up once just so they knew.
I'd date a Sighted girl, only because she can drive, Cook, Clean and nag me all day-night long. I don't have a girlfriend but it is difficult trying to find let alone ask a girl on a date.
To the last poster, you're asking for a relationship filled with resentment and arguing if you want your sighted partner to do all the housework and expecting her to take you everywhere. She's a girlfriend, not your mother, unless you prefer to be babied. *SMH*
"I'd date a Sighted girl, only because she can drive, Cook, Clean and nag me all day-night long." Good luck. i think poster no 129 and poster no 1 should move in, and live together, and have Mabelyn and Nikicat as both of your gf
Ugh, if all you want from a relationship with a sighted person is for them to drive you places and other related stuff, I agree with other people, that's going to fall straight over and die. That person is going to eventually get sick and tired of doing stuff for you. Man, what a totally loveless relationship that would be, unless you're figuring actual love and affection in and just not telling us. Now, there's no escape from stereotypes, but this is one of them. Sighted people, some of them at least, think blind folks should hook up with sighted folks because they think the sighted person is going to play selfless helper thing. To these people also, love does not seem to enter into the equation. There is an assumption that blind people do not understand or are incapable of feeling love, but then again, we're seen as having only one emotion, the need for help. LOL!
Then there's the question, OK, so the sighted person is going to run around helping you shop and stuff. What are you going to do for them in return and will they even allow it?
I tend to prefer sighted girls myself. I don't know, I just haven't met many blind women I've been attracted to.
I would prefer to date a sighted person myself, not just to help me out a little, but also because I have found that in general, sighted people seem to be a little more fun to interact with and date. I'm not saying at all that blind people shouldn't date blind people, because blind couples obviously can have successful relationships. I just think that there are a lot of advantages to dating a sighted person.
When I think about it that's probably the reason I'd prefer to date sighted women most of the time.
I personally have hird that sited people do not to read the mail or things like that.
I do not know why why people are like that but i do not know.
I've never had a problem finding sighted help with things like that whenever I need it, and they weren't romantically attached to me, either. But like anything else, you have your helpful people, your not so helpful people, the straight up asseholes, and the people for, whatever reason, do way too much, way more than their fair share.
For those of you who want a relationship with a sighted person so that they can cook, clean, drive, etc. Just hire a maid. And if you're also looking for sex, hire a hooker. lol. That way, you're at least dignified; You need help but you're paying for it instead of expecting it from someone who is supposed to be attached to you. For those of you who say that sighted people are more fun to date, I'm just curious, what substansial examples of that can you pass on to the rest of us clueless ones? Because, I've dated both sighted and blind guys, and some of the blind guys I've dated were more interesting and fun than some of the sighted ones, and vice versa. There's no specific set of characteristics that sighted people have that allow them to be more fun. I mean, I'm completely blind, and I think I'm a hell of a lot of fun. I'm spontaneous, independent, confident... Yep, I can't drive, but I can still get up at 7:00 a.m and get myself to the local IHOP and serve my boyfriend his favorite breakfast in bed, or cook him a lavish, romantic dinner after a long day's work, and so on. I guess I'm trying to ascertain what makes the sighted people supposedly more fun to date. I would think it has to do with spontaneity, but as I just demonstrated in my examples, blind people can be just as spontaneous with a little more effort. It all comes down to how much you think you can do, and how much effort you're willing to put into trying. I'm the kind of person who's willing to take risks, have an adventurous life, and beat the ods and I think it's paid offf for me regarding relationships as well as most other aspects of my life. Just saying...
That depends on where you live though. If you live in an area that doesn't have reliable, or any, public transportation, you can't exactly be spontaneous, no matter how much you may want to.
Hello:
I have since reversed my initial stance on this matter. No matter if you are sighted or blind, dating is still very difficult. Especially, if you factor in distance into the mix. I say just stay single, and you will find the right person eventually. Thanks for reading.
I do not remember posting the following on tis topic. Some idiot must have hacked into my account.
Master Alex Matthew SARcastic
I just keep on posting! 699 posts
Thursday, 03-May-2012 8:07:14
I'd date a Sighted girl, only because she can drive, Cook, Clean and nag me all day-night long. I don't have a girlfriend but it is difficult trying to find let alone ask a girl on a date.
Now excuse me, I don't write that kind of crap.
BTW, that's not my style of writing..
I'm blind however, I don't let my disability stop me from doing anything. I can do anything that I set my mind to. Are any of you looking for some one whose blind to date? I'm a male.